The Silver Fox said I would have a beautiful female Spanish instructor. I dont know why he included beautiful as a detail for Spanish lessons. I wasnt taking them to get laid, well not directly anyway. I defintely hoped my new language skills would give me an edge with Central American women, but his inclusion of that detail made me feel like a john.
My tutor, waited for me by the guest house as I returned from a coffee run. My beautiful female instructor was a chubby man with gnarly teeth named Eric. When all my attention wasnt magnetized to his chompers, I was able to conclude that he was a good guy, but a horrible teacher.
Just as I wanted to futher my Spanish, Eric wanted to perfect his English (which was leaps beyond my comprehension of his language.) Hed ask me a question in English, I would try to answer in Spanish. This was not a deliberate exercise, and though it sounds effective, with no source of vocabulary, and a textbook duct taped together, Eric stood more to gain than I.
He talked about music. I made the mistake of telling him I had played in a band. This ended the lesson for the day.
¨You know, I have friends that play the radio in Guatemala City.¨
Eric talked of his connections, however real or imagined, with great pride.
¨You give me CD, they play it on the radio.¨
I had no records to give him.
¨Then we make a concert for you.¨
He continued planning, even after I explained that the band broke up over a year ago, the other members lived in Canada, and they had jobs and partners they couldnt afford to leave on Erics word. Dont get me wrong, I would love, absolutely love, to play in Central America, or anywhere abroad for that matter, but I needed to redirect the conversation so we could eventually begin my lessons.
¨Do you know anyone who sells guitars here in Antigua Eric?¨
Erics eyes lit up. He was delighted that I asked his advice, allowing him to flaunt his ever growing list of connections.
¨I take you one place. Beautiful guitars. If not, I know a guy. Beautiful guitars.¨
He got up immediately and led me to his motorcycle. We took off, my hands clasped around his waste towards Parque Central.
The lesson had lasted about 20 minutes, but I did learn a new verb, rober-to rob.
La compania robieron mi. Page dinero por lecciones de espanol y recibe no instruccion.
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