Vamos!

I have an unfamiliar knot in my stomach. I´m standing outside Edmonton International. I hate how familiar this airport is. There´s been too many goodbyes here. That might be why I hate this moment. There´s nothing hard about it. I don´t feel like I´m leaving anything behind. Though, that´s exactly why it made so much sense to leave.
My stomach is a rollercoaster. I have no idea what I´ve gotten myself into. The plans end after the flight itinerary. Edmonton to Denver. Denver to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Guatemala City.

I´m excited and I´m worried. What friends will I make travelling on my own? Will I make friends travelling on my own? I'm haunted by the travel experiences of others. Will mine be as formative? Will I lose myself as completely and enjoyably as they did? Will I lose too much of myself? Will I find a contentment that I lack back home?
I´ve been blabbing about epic travel plans for several months and as I sit in front of the airport I realize I´m 25 and preparing for my first immersive travel experience. I should have paid more attention in Spanish class. I don´t want to end up sitting alone in the corner of a bar. No matter where you are in the world, it´s never cool to be that guy.

I want to call someone. I want to vocalize my fears. I can´t. I wanted to do this on my own, and I will do this on my own. Maybe I've too heavily relied on others in the past. These moments make us stronger, to embrace isolation and keep moving. I finish the last of my many pre-flight cigarettes and walk inside. I know I can do this.